Before I fall asleep 

I look up at the sky

I scan the clouded navy blanket

For stars

They’re not usually there

But when they are 

They are birthday parties 

All the guests dressed in jewelry and dresses

They are carousels

Stationary colorful horses that cannot take you far

They are lunches cut up into pieces

Sometimes small is bigger

They are pictures 

Of faded and forgotten friends

They are playgrounds

Monkey bars to leap across

They are my smile

So, so far away